a book review
normally i don’t write about books, but i’ve finally had time to read some of the sixth harry potter book, titled: harry potter and the half-blood prince. and also i’m kind of stuck at the library cause people are remodeling the kitchen so it’s really loud and noisy. right now, i’m taking a break from this 600+ page novel to discuss what I feel about it. i’m on page…uh lets see…313 about half way through. haha look at this quote, “girls were very strange sometimes”. how true. so this is actually more of a review of the first half of the book. hey I see my brother asking a librarian a question. look at him and that ridiculous long hair of his. every time i see him i try to resist the temptation of attacking his head with a hair clipper. or giant scissors.
so…back to harry potter. after reading about the first half of the book, i only have two words to describe it. laa-ame. And i just heard some guy’s cellphone go off with the deeuuur-daahh hello moto ringtone for the third time. yea the book is pretty lame. don’t get me wrong, i kind of like the harry potter series. the first few books were pretty interesting, prisoner of azkaban being my favorite one. the movies were ok too. they shouldve made cho chang some hot asian chick, like zhang ziyi. that would be awesome. but yea the books, i think it all went downhill at the fifth one, order of phoenix or something like that. but i forgot what happened in that book, I think someone unimportant dies. oh wait, sirius dies? no he’ll probably be alive in the last one. like come out of nowhere and be like “hey harry ya miss me?” and harry will go “wahtt! ::cries:: i thought you were gg” and sirius will go “haha noob”. sirius is such a cool character. he can turn into a dog.
But the sixth one, i mean i’ve been reading mostly about harry not flipping out and busting caps on his friends. or just getting mad and yelling at them. and its like a hormone raging fest, with people “snogging” each other all over the place. i think that’s supposed to be a british word that’s a tamer version of “shagging”. oh yea, we all know malfoy is one shady bastard, but please we don't need a narration of how harry needs to keep an eye out for him every single page. or harry's obsession with having the hots for his best friend's sister. ugh. and wow, talk about issues. it’s like harry, ron, and hermione are having a competition to see who can be the hogwart’s top drama queen of the century. here’s a typical conversation, this one about a quidditch match.
ron: wah wah i can’t play quidditch i want to quit
harry: no ron, you must play. here drink this juice
herm: stop! don't drink it! you put something in teh water i saw you harry
harry: wtf i don't know what you are talking about
ron: stfu herm i do what i want biatch. ::drinks juice:: i feel lucky!
herm: ugh...what eva ttylz
(a couple of minutes and a quidditch match later...)
ron: rolfcopter we won! i am teh 1337 roxorz
herm: HAXORZ!!1! you had lucky boost +5
harry: lollerskates noob, see i didn't put anything in the drink. i still have the seal on. oh face!
herm: wtf! ::runs away:: ::cries::
ron: haha gg noob! pwned! ::makes out with lavender::
harry: omg what have i done. g2g
um...yea....
i really don't like this book. i think i keep reading this because it's some sort of guilty pleasure. and i want to see if harry gets some ass, cause that would be kind of hot. seriously, when does snape ice dumbledore? yes i know it happens, i guessed it when the book first came out for a few days. it better not be on the last page cause i will seriously throw the book across the room and yell.
so far my questions that have yet to be answered are: wheres the story? who is the half-blood prince? why do hermione and ron have a secret affection for each other anyways? why does harry always gossip like a little girl? why is this chapter called "a very frosty christmas"?! most importantly, why am i still reading this? and now i leave you with a song lyric from this chapter
oh, come and stir my cauldron,
and if you do it right,
i'll boil you up some hot strong love
to keep you warm tonight
don't take it seriously people. it's called a joke. i am most certainly not hinting for available ladies to give me a call and/or making vulgar suggestions.
normally i don’t write about books, but i’ve finally had time to read some of the sixth harry potter book, titled: harry potter and the half-blood prince. and also i’m kind of stuck at the library cause people are remodeling the kitchen so it’s really loud and noisy. right now, i’m taking a break from this 600+ page novel to discuss what I feel about it. i’m on page…uh lets see…313 about half way through. haha look at this quote, “girls were very strange sometimes”. how true. so this is actually more of a review of the first half of the book. hey I see my brother asking a librarian a question. look at him and that ridiculous long hair of his. every time i see him i try to resist the temptation of attacking his head with a hair clipper. or giant scissors.
so…back to harry potter. after reading about the first half of the book, i only have two words to describe it. laa-ame. And i just heard some guy’s cellphone go off with the deeuuur-daahh hello moto ringtone for the third time. yea the book is pretty lame. don’t get me wrong, i kind of like the harry potter series. the first few books were pretty interesting, prisoner of azkaban being my favorite one. the movies were ok too. they shouldve made cho chang some hot asian chick, like zhang ziyi. that would be awesome. but yea the books, i think it all went downhill at the fifth one, order of phoenix or something like that. but i forgot what happened in that book, I think someone unimportant dies. oh wait, sirius dies? no he’ll probably be alive in the last one. like come out of nowhere and be like “hey harry ya miss me?” and harry will go “wahtt! ::cries:: i thought you were gg” and sirius will go “haha noob”. sirius is such a cool character. he can turn into a dog.
But the sixth one, i mean i’ve been reading mostly about harry not flipping out and busting caps on his friends. or just getting mad and yelling at them. and its like a hormone raging fest, with people “snogging” each other all over the place. i think that’s supposed to be a british word that’s a tamer version of “shagging”. oh yea, we all know malfoy is one shady bastard, but please we don't need a narration of how harry needs to keep an eye out for him every single page. or harry's obsession with having the hots for his best friend's sister. ugh. and wow, talk about issues. it’s like harry, ron, and hermione are having a competition to see who can be the hogwart’s top drama queen of the century. here’s a typical conversation, this one about a quidditch match.
ron: wah wah i can’t play quidditch i want to quit
harry: no ron, you must play. here drink this juice
herm: stop! don't drink it! you put something in teh water i saw you harry
harry: wtf i don't know what you are talking about
ron: stfu herm i do what i want biatch. ::drinks juice:: i feel lucky!
herm: ugh...what eva ttylz
(a couple of minutes and a quidditch match later...)
ron: rolfcopter we won! i am teh 1337 roxorz
herm: HAXORZ!!1! you had lucky boost +5
harry: lollerskates noob, see i didn't put anything in the drink. i still have the seal on. oh face!
herm: wtf! ::runs away:: ::cries::
ron: haha gg noob! pwned! ::makes out with lavender::
harry: omg what have i done. g2g
um...yea....
i really don't like this book. i think i keep reading this because it's some sort of guilty pleasure. and i want to see if harry gets some ass, cause that would be kind of hot. seriously, when does snape ice dumbledore? yes i know it happens, i guessed it when the book first came out for a few days. it better not be on the last page cause i will seriously throw the book across the room and yell.
so far my questions that have yet to be answered are: wheres the story? who is the half-blood prince? why do hermione and ron have a secret affection for each other anyways? why does harry always gossip like a little girl? why is this chapter called "a very frosty christmas"?! most importantly, why am i still reading this? and now i leave you with a song lyric from this chapter
oh, come and stir my cauldron,
and if you do it right,
i'll boil you up some hot strong love
to keep you warm tonight
don't take it seriously people. it's called a joke. i am most certainly not hinting for available ladies to give me a call and/or making vulgar suggestions.
1 comments:
I think I remember reading somewhere that Harry and Ron are gay and replacing every instance of 'wand' and 'broomstick' with a more phallic word makes the story much more adult-friendly.
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